| This movie stars Mani from "Brotherhood of the Wolf," the Captain from "Das Boot," and an "Alien" rip-off. It takes place in...um...South America and Indonesia and Africa or...uh...well basically some where in the world where African natives, hispanics, and polynesians exist in the same region. The plot consists of a German U-boat that hunts the deep waters for a revived alien plaguing southern France. They are accompanied by an Indian who knows Kung Fu. The Germans know Kung Fu too. So does the alien. OK that isn't what the movie is about, but believe me that makes more sense than this movie. Jurgen Prochnow arrives out of the blue and asks Dacascos, a simple doctor, to guide him where a certain chemical substance is in the middle of the jungle. Sadly, Prochnow actually used Dacascos to have him lead to where a the DNA of a dead alien is. This is so Prochnow can...hell I don't know, have a best friend. So Dacascos, having returned to his native village of spanish Malaysians, gets another visit. This time its a hot girl who wants him to to lead her to where Prochnow is because of Prochnow's evil Best Friend Research (BFR). Dacascos brings a little kid along. Why, you ask? To counter Prochnow's alien best friend with a best friend of his own! The competition is clearly obvious when the alien goes after the little kid first. Some how the shack Dacascos and his gang are in immediately becomes Prochnow's headquarters, and the alien corners them into a room. They manage to escape only to be kidnapped again by Prochnow's men who have arrived to feed the alien...with their bodies. You know I'm getting bored writing this review and I'm running out of things to say. Just don't watch this movie. And if you do like it and want to write a review...do not give it five stars. Please? Thank you... |
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