The Void
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List Price: $24.98
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Features
• Closed-captioned
• Color
• Subtitled
• NTSC
In Theaters : 01 January, 2001
DVD Release : 25 June, 2002 |
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The Void Customer Reviews
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♥♥♥♥♥ |
Quite possibly the worst movie ever made
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NO SPOILERS HERE
'Blighted' might be a better word. I'm not ready to admit that this movie has a 'plot,' so 'spoiler' in proper context does not necessarily apply.
First things first: that Amanda Tapping from Stargate is atrocious. Horrible. If you like Amanda Tapping, then you may want to see this verbal and visual Kharybdis. Fortunately that's not her undeveloped torso in the nude scene, so all you lonely, middle aged men can put your tissues away.
Next, that aforementioned thing vaguely resembling what we moviegoers might call a "plot" is all over the place, and peppered throughout are references to George W. Bush and GOP voters. In and of itself, this may or may not be a bad thing, depending on your outlook. But these references were among the most forced attempts at "humor" I've ever exposed myself to. And no, I did not watch this movie. I subjected myself to it.
Example:
Amanda Tapping: "I think that Malcom McDowell is going to create a black hole in his laboratory."
Male Sidekick: "Yeah, like the black holes in the heads of Texas voters."
or
AT: "Holy Jeez, I better find a way to write my boundless personal warmth into the script... maybe I'll make the producers write me in a blind friend. Blind people need friends, and I'm a good person for having a blind friend."
MS: "Blind like Republican voters, maybe."
And guffaws of raucous, herniating laughter ensue. Yes, the director added those little bits, between moments, to lighten the "tension" found throughout the rest of this fast-paced action fecalpiece.
The directing was God awful. Regardless of your position on Bush or politics or whatnot, we don't need to be constantly reminded of the fact that both the screenplay writer (shaved ape) and the director (profoundly and utterly retarded, but alas, human) both hate Bush, when there's absolutley nothing about this movie that is in any way connected to said President, or politics, or anything like that. Only the fattest, wheezingest nerd could ever hope to concoct a story whereby Bush somehow remotely fits into the scheme of things. And yes, the Bush bashing was just as terrible and unfunny as I described it.
Third or fourth? I dont remember. Anyways, one funny thing was the stunt work. And there's a particularly hilarious scene inolving a 'hitman,' and the emulation of running by steadycam.
Long story short: don't waste your time and don't waste your money. If it was five bucks, it might be worth it. The CG raised the bar on bad, though I must admit I'm generally biased against any CG at all (especially CG that looks like a final project from some community college's Arts and Graphic Design program).
Please, be a choad, ignore my advice, and buy this movie. And then come back here and tell me how right I was. That way I'm not the only damn fool to waste a week's pay on this sloppy suck fest. Oh, and ignore all of these other glowing reviews. Sometimes, the dark side overcomes what Lincoln called the better angles of our nature. Every nerd has his breaking point. You and I have one. It's very obvious that these men have gone insane. |
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The Void dvd movie.